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Teenage Dating Advice: “Don’t Let Accidents Happen”

I got rear-ended in my brand spanking new Honda; minding my own business at a red light, a young woman plowed right into me. I drove into a gas station and got out of my car to evaluate the damage. Here’s what filtered out of her teenage brain, “Sorry, my foot must have slipped off the brake.”

Seriously? That’s it? You expect me to believe that you can imbed your license plate logo into my bumper at idle speeds if your foot happens to “slip off the brake?” No remorse, no emotion, just a straight-faced excuse delivered with a less-than-authentic apology? Right.

The police officer that came to the scene of the “accident” had a different take on it. She had probably heard that story a thousand times from teenage brains grasping for an excuse and was pretty good at determining what REALLY happened. Skid marks, witnesses, and the size of the “ding” told the story – not the words out of the other driver’s mouth or the excuses.

Teenage Dating Advice: Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Do you have a boyfriend with excuses? “My foot slipped off the brake, I couldn’t stop myself from bumping into my old girlfriend. It didn’t mean anything really. We just had some unfinished business.”

Does your girlfriend look at you with her big blue eyes and say, “Oops, I didn’t know I would run into him at the party! It had nothing to do with you, I promise.”

No question about it; accidents happen. And when it comes to the teenage brain and issues of the heart, accidents can become really messy! Yet regardless of the conflicting emotions inside your teenage brain and the urge to believe the stories he or she is feeding you, it’s always the best teenage dating advice to take a step back and evaluate the evidence. From your more objective point of view, you can then determine what part of the story is true, if any of it is true at all!

There is a difference between being skeptical and being smart. How much truth are you learning about the person you are dating? My teenage dating advice: most often, integrity has a way of speaking for itself.

Teenage Dating Advice: Who should get the ticket?

There is the other side of the argument. Perhaps you are the girlfriend or boyfriend who caused the emotional fender bender! The difference between people who learn from their mistakes and those that blame everything on circumstance (and so never really grow) is that the first kind of individual apologizes, while the other makes excuses. My teenage dating advice to people who have messed up and hurt someone they love is to face up to the fact that they didn’t behave in a considerate way. And that they should accept responsibility for the pain they may have caused others. Once you have accepted this and apologized, you will have learned one of life’s most valuable lessons; that mistakes are our portals of self-discovery and heading in a new direction is a really good idea. That first road you chose should be closed…permanently.

Your thoughts on this teenage dating advice?

Mama j

In the book Dater’s Ed, Lisa Jander, the Teen-Whisperer, helpsteenagers learn how to “date defensively, navigate safely and steer clear of unhealthy relationships.” www.DatersEd.com

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About Lisa Jander

Teens call me, "Mama j." Parents call me the “Teen Dating Mechanic.” I believe that by teaching teens about the risks in dating we can shift their thinking about relationships in this culture. As a Certified Relationship Coach, Public Speaker and Author of a book titled, “Dater’s Ed: Driver’s Ed Model for Dating,” I am passionate about promoting family education to STOP reckless dating before it begins.

2 Responses to "Teenage Dating Advice: “Don’t Let Accidents Happen”"

  • Iqra
    July 4, 2015 - 3:35 am

    I would like to thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I’m hoping the same high-grade blog post from you in the upcoming also. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own blog now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a good example of it.

  • Lisa Jander
    July 13, 2015 - 8:21 pm

    Adam, thanks for the endorsement and I’m glad the articles have inspired you to write!